I'll be home for Christmas...

It is a cold, lonely night in Seoul and at 5am, I cannot sleep.

Maybe it's because I made the stupid decision to have 2 coffees in a row at 9pm last night, which resulted in me sitting in a convenience store for a couple of hours, then having a 4-hour conversation with my roommate (unplanned as usual but always better than sleep), which was then followed by me writing a paper for another hour, which put me in a reflective mood.

Or maybe it's because yesterday marked the beginning of my final month here in Seoul. And that is just -- as we exchange students say here -- NoNo!

I knew this time was coming of course, and yes I've still got another 22 days here, but that doesn't make it any less upsetting. I have formed a life here. I have made friendships stronger than I could have ever imagined I would make under such circumstances. Of course I miss my home, but there is something so tragic about saying goodbye to this life which I know I will never have again... Something so heartbreaking about leaving behind these people and knowing that we will never all be together again.

As each month has passed of our exchange experience, we have edged closer to the dreaded December. After the first month, it was 'wow, we are a quarter of the way through, and it went by so fast!' After the second month, it was, 'okay, we are halfway through, that's a bit depressing. Oh well, let's live more!' And now, after the third, we are all talking as if it is already over. 'Oh, I wish I had done more of this', or, 'ah! I never got the chance to do this!' which is so strange, because we still have 3 weeks left (a lot longer than a standard holiday for most people our age).

But, because we have been here for so long, and 3 weeks is nothing, we are sort of wrapping it up, and summing it up in depressing terms.

Maybe it's because life in Seoul has changed. In the last couple of weeks, it hasn't been the same. The air is different, the way in which we interact is different, the recreational activities in which we partake are very different. And why?

Because Christmas.

The decorations are out, the snow is falling (apparently. I have missed it all thanks to my stupid need to sleep in), the carols are playing in shops and cafes, families are seen frolicking together (of course not literally but it seems all the more merry when I am without my family), church vibes are happy, Santa Claus' are a-plenty, couples are extra couple-y and the air is just extra jolly. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. It's just, Christmas.

So, naturally, we have all been missing home just that extra bit more. A part of us wants to be home for this Christmas season, but a part of us never wants to leave because now, we are family. For the last three months, we have all been alone and without our loved ones, so we have become each other's loved ones. It's so very cheesy but so very true. Even right now, my roommate sleeps peacefully across from me (I envy her un-coffee-affected slumber) and I cannot help but cherish this time because it is one of the last nights I will hear her sleeping next to me (so creepy but I'm sticking with it).

This blog post is kind of nothing, just a record of my reflections on this cold (freezing), late (now verging on 6am) Seoul evening (morning... my perception of time has become nothing and let's be honest I am nocturnal now).

I have just received word that my family set up their Christmas tree last night. Sticking to tradition, they set it up on the 1st of December (I say 'they' very loosely because I know that it would have mostly been Jenna (she does a beautiful job every year)), and I just know that they will be playing Boney M's Christmas album every day now until Christmas Day. Oh, how I miss it! I eagerly await returning to that environment!

Alas, I am not done here yet! I have not yet left my footprint in Seoul and there is still much work to do (I wish I could say something more inspirational here but if I'm honest, I am referring to my final assignments and exams).

Exchange students, if you're reading this, let's make Seoul our oyster in these last few weeks! The memories I have formed here will never be forgotten. I say that with sincerity. And I plan to make 100 new ones before this month is through!

Signed in Seoul,

Kristin

PS. I'm hungry. Temptation to stay awake until 7am when breakfast is served is peaking. Who bets that I will commit?........... Lol.

Kristin is supported by the Australian Government through the Australia-Korea Foundation of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade